What I know About Moms...even though i'm not one.

      Okay let me first start by just saying I know some of you may be thinking what qualifications do I have to talk about moms when I am not a mother myself. Let me just answer your valid pondering with this, NONE. I can't say "I feel ya" or "I know I've been there."

     I've never myself heard the broken record high pitched sound of a child's voice say to me "Mom, mom, mom, Moooooooooom!"

     So let me just begin with a disclaimer: If you're looking for an inspiring blog from someone that's been in your shoes as a mother, this isn't it. If you want to stop reading, I won't be mad at you...not for that long;) But it is my opinion that you will miss out if you do. So what do you have to lose?

     Can I just start by saying something I believe to be true: BEING A MOM IS BY FAR ONE OF THE HARDEST JOBS ANY PERSON CAN HAVE. Do I have your attention now?:) I mean that, wholeheartedly. Even as someone who is not yet a mother, I can say that. And I stand behind it. That is in no way to discredit or downplay any other jobs. Honestly in my eyes if you are working, anywhere, I respect you.

     So this is the first thing I know about moms, you ready? You are a hero. Why? Because you sacrifice, a lot. Heroes don't just wear capes or uniforms, heroes put others above themselves. And I see moms do that. All the time. I saw my own mom do that, time and time again growing up. It's only now that I can look back and truly appreciate all the sacrifices she's made and continues to make. I know she would tell you firsthand, once a mom, always a mom. Okay you mom, with the baby on one hip, a toddler pulling at your disheveled T-shirt who rarely gets a second to sit down and breath in much less back out.... I don't say that to scare you. To make you feel like "holy gum in the hair, it's never going to end." I say that to encourage the impact you ARE making.


      I have so much respect for the moms who sacrifice for their children. I'm not even talk about the huge sacrifices in some people's eyes like not having the car you want because your kid needs braces, or wearing the same tired sweater every Christmas because you'd rather spend that money on something for little Timmy. Those are incredible sacrifices. But I'm referring to the small sacrifices, the ones you make every day that you think nobody notices.

     Like when all you want is a second alone to just sit and relax or take a shower or even scratch your butt (had to) but your toddler wants you to read him a story or the baby just wants to be held or your older kids need help with their homework. Or the times you ate cold dinner or didn't get to finish because the baby made a mess and the dishes are piling up so you clean instead. Little things day in and day out. Things that say "my kids are more important." From the outside looking in, I've noticed them. I appreciate the heck out of them.That may not mean much coming from someone like me but just know you are appreciated and inspiring even when you don't realize it.

    The other thing I know about moms is that they are very hard on themselves. I have a close friend who is an AMAZING mother. But I've seen firsthand how hard she is on herself and all because she just wants what's best for her kids. That in and of itself is incredible to me. But I see the weight it puts on her shoulders. The desire to be perfect not because she pridefully thinks she should be but because she thinks her kids deserve it. I also see how happy her kids are, I mean genuinely happy. Not temporary "You just gave me what I wanted" happy. But happy down in their souls because they know they are loved. They know who they are.

      I know there are times my mom felt like she was failing, I've seen other moms feel the same. When their kid faces hurt or makes a stupid decision, it's the natural instinct of a mom to take it on herself. I tend to beat myself up constantly so I can't even imagine how I'll be when I'm responsible for another human being! But I can assure you, your teaching is not being wasted. Even if you don't see the finish project in front of you, YOU are doing a good job with your children.

"Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6

    You may have to tell them 50 million times. (me) You may get back talk. (me) You may get rolled eyes. (me) But they do hear you. And one day it will sink in. No matter how long it takes, it will be worth it. I can't imagine the feeling of defeat, exhaustion, wanting to give up even though you know you cant. Not because you would trade your job as a mom for anything but because you want to do the best you can for your kids.

     Can I just tell you something. You already are. I worked in a children's shelter and I can't even begin to tell you the stories there. The children we'd take in from newborn to teens. You wouldn't believe some of the things they went through. It broke my heart in ways I couldn't even begin to explain. But you know what those kids wanted even more than new clothes, or toys, or to go and do things, was LOVE. Simple as that. 


     The compassion I had for children grew ten fold when I worked there. I poured my heart and soul into loving on those kids because they needed it and my heart longed to give it to them. But you know what I had to realize that as happy as they were with that love it could never replace the love of a mother. 

      You see your kids don't love you just because you buy them things, feed them, clothe them, or take them places (although it may seem that way at times) they love you simply because you are their mother. YOU. No one else can give them that kind of love.That's what they'll take with them. That's what they'll remember when their older "we may not have had everything, but what we did have was love."

      That's what I remember most about my childhood. My mom was always there, loving me. Even when it wasn't easy. She got upset, she messed up, she got frustrated at times but she always, always loved us. 

      What I know about moms, no one can love quite like they can. So love those kiddos. Kiss them, hug them. If they know they're loved, you're winning. At the end of the day that's what matters. There may be toys all over the floor, dishes in the sink, a cut on their knee, a "D" on their homework but they know you love them and will no matter what. Nothing matters more than that. When God called you to be a mama, he didn't ask for perfection But that you would love them. The way he loves you. Unconditionally. Not always easy, but always worth it.

     So thank you moms. For simply taking on the hardest job on the planet. Don't beat yourself up so much. You are doing great. With no makeup because you don't have time, bags under your eyes because you rarely sleep, stretch marks you wish would pull a Houdini vanishing act from having your third child, you AMAZE me. Those things are things in my eyes that make you the most BEAUTIFUL person on the planet. 

Your kids appreciate you even if they don't express it yet and one day God will look at you and say "Well done, good and faithful servant. You loved the kids I entrusted you with. I knew you could do it."

If you want to be a racist...

Judgement...
hatred....
two strong words. Two words that drive a lot of the beliefs and actions of society. It's not about posted laws...it's about the heart. Seeing someone as different than we are and thinking we are better than them is judgement at its finest. Race, social standing, ethnicity, sexual preference, religious views, lifestyle choices, the list goes on. How often does the world look at others through the eyes of judgement, through the lens of bitterness and hate. Why? Because they are different. Whether by choice or not, they aren't like we are. They don't believe what we do, live like we do, talk like we do so they are not worth our love? Is that the message we want to leave for our kids? I would hope not.

You know what? I don't judge the person who wants to be racist because that was ingrained in them or the person who chooses to hate gays because they don't agree with that lifestyle. As a Christian woman I can already hear you saying "What's wrong with you?" But if I chose to judge them than I would be doing the same thing they are doing. And my heart has never been to judge even if I may not agree with someone. So no, I don't feel hatred for them, what I do feel is sorry for them. My heart hurts for them because I know how much they are missing out on by choosing to hold onto that hatred. By clinging tight to their prejudices. They are missing out on getting to meet some amazing people.

Yes as a Christian there are things I believe in for myself but I have so many amazing people in my life who don't share all those beliefs. And I love them. I think to myself how sad it would be to have missed out on getting to know them just because I may not agree with everything they do. Since when did we become so prideful to think that we have the right or authority to judge people for being different than us? It's one of the things that breaks my heart the most in this world.

Especially when people try to bring God into it. When Christians specifically try to use the bible or what they believe as a weapon to judge others, something isn't right. No I don't think it's wrong to stand up for what you believe in and speak the truth. But there's a difference between believing in something and using it to judge someone who doesn't. Last time I checked God said he created us ALL in his image. He doesnt mess up. He doesnt make junk. We are all his creation and he is in LOVE with his creations. Black, white, Hispanic, Asian, gay, straight, poor, rich.... there are no standards for his love. No restrictions to his grace. We are all at different stages of our walk in life. And honestly the thing you think that person is struggling with, although it seems like it to you, isn't any worse than the things you have or are struggling with yourself. That's not a fun truth to believe, but it is just that, TRUTH.

So if the God who created the universe can love ALL people the same why can't we?

The bible says that man judges by outward appearance but God looks at the heart. We are called to LOVE others whether WE think they are worthy of it or not. You don't have to agree with someone to love them.

So if you want to be a racist that is your choice. I'm not going to try and change you becauae lets face it, I can't. But all I will say is man you sure are missing out.