Love Never Fails

I've felt a lot of emotions throughout my journey with my health but this week has made me feel two words more than anything else.

Humbly Overwhelmed...

By love.

I had an appointment this last Monday at a new doctor. A specialist.

Now I've been to a lot of doctors/specialists, done a lot of tests & been 'suggested' a lot of treatments with a lot of attempts to prescribe me medicine to mask the symptoms instead of discovering the source; but when I went to this new specialist I had a new hope and a peace that I haven't had in the past. I wasn't anxious, I was excited! And I know a lot of it was because the people in my life.

On Sunday after church my parents came over to pray for me. Head bowed and holding hands with my husband and my parents I felt an overwhelming love. I didn't have to have my eyes open to know my mom was crying, I could hear it in her voice, feel it in the compassion of her words when she prayed. 

My mom has dealt with health issues and pain.Much of the same frustration with doctors and unanswered questions about how to help ease the pain has been a part of her life for the last 20+years. Mine has only been the last 4 years.In comparison it seems small. But not the way she looks at it. Was there one word in the prayer uttered for herself, her own healing? No. She'd take all my pain on top of her own just for me to feel better. WOW. Humbled. Overwhelmed. 

That's Love.Not a for letter word that's tossed around so nonchalantly these days. Not simply a word mentioned, but an action shown. Real, Genuine, Selfless Love.

When I see the love my parents have for me, the love of a mother, it's hard for me to think anyone could possibly love me more than that. But here comes the overwhelming part...God Does!

No one could love me more, could love you more than God does. Not even a mom. It's a hard concept to fully grasp. Maybe He doesn't expect us to. Maybe He just wants us to believe it.Trust it. Rest in it. Have confidence and security in the indisputable truth of it.

Like a true parent who doesn't want to see her children hurt. Who wants to do whatever it takes to protect them. Who despite their mistakes,their screw ups, their disrespect, and disobedience...Loves them. 

Do you have children? Then you know what I mean. I don't have children yet.(One day God willing!) I feel how much I love my friends' children so I can't even imagine when they're my own! But at this moment in my life I can only experience a mother's love through what I see and what I feel from my own.And it's B.I.G. BIG!

God loves us more.Whoa nelly.

God knew the mistakes we'd make in our lives.He knew the times we'd distrust and disobey him. He knew all the people that would not only deny Him but mock Him. Yet he loves us just the same! How do I know? "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

Think about that. Most of us have heard that verse a million times or at least once. I recall memorizing it in vacation bible school when I was growing up. But how many of us have actually taken the time to think about what it really means? To truly reflect on that kind of love. It's not just an event in history. It's not just an act of love He did 2,000 years ago. It's on ongoing action.

A never ending love. 

A love that never runs out. Never gives up. Never costs us anything. Never becomes unneeded. It doesn't change with circumstances. It's not based on performance or actions.You heard me! We don't have to earn it!  We can do things for God, for others, because we want to not because we have to.That in itself should take a GINORMOUS weight off our shoulders. God cares more about relationship than religion. But don't take my word for it...

"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.Ephesians 2:8-9
                    
God sent his one and only son to die a violent, gruesome, undeserved death on a cross to save us from sin. ALL of us. Now to me, that's love. That's sacrifice.I don't know what you've done in your life, what you've gone through, what you're currently facing but God does. You were not excluded when God allowed Jesus to die on that cross. You were in His mind, on His heart.He knew every sin we would EVER commit and yet He loved us that much. In the words of my old pastor, "That'll blow your hat in the creek!"

You may not have known the love of a mother or a father in your life. I can't offer you answers but I can offer you hope. No parent is perfect, except God. No parent could love you more than He does.The perfect father.

I've had a lot of support, a lot of encouragement, & a lot of prayers over the last few years but I've never felt the love more than I did this past week.

So many friends-old and new,ladies I barely know, amazing family,church members, & my incredible husband have reached out to me in a way that has completely overwhelmed my heart. So many have taught me spiritually, prayed for me, and stood by my side through this.Once again reiterating just how important relationships are. How's the world supposed to see the love of God if we don't show it?

When Jesus sent out his disciples, He sent them in pairs.  He knew they would need each other, and we need each other too.  We need others to stand up for us, and stand behind us, to have our backs, and pray for us. I'm so blessed to have that. So, thank you. It will never be enough, but it means more than I could possibly express.

It's so humbly overwhelmed me that it's motivated me to want to be a better friend, a better sister, daughter, wife, and christian.

It's is through you that I get a glimpse of the love of God.

And that kind of love never fails.

For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels won't, and all the powers of hell itself cannot keep Gods' love away. Our fears for today, or worries about tomorrow or where we are -- high above the sky, or in the deepest ocean -- nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when He died for us.

Reason For the Season

When I was little I loved Summer. Lived for it. No school.Smell of Sunscreen. Swimming. Snow cones.Tans.Trips to the beach. But somewhere along the way that changed. 

Everything's too crowded with no school. Sunscreen stinks. Sugar in snow cones makes me dizzy. Too much heat makes my muscles hurt. I do however, still LOVE swimming and going to the beach...(if Dave Ramsey allows us to)

Now, the cool weather I used to despise I actually look forward to which makes me LOVE fall and winter even more.Stepping outside without immediately breaking into a sweat?..Yes, please. 

Fall with its Thanksgiving food. Scarves. Hats. Cuddly rainy days. Pumpkin pie. Running through crunchy leaves (yes I still do that) And Winter with the Smell of cinnamon. Possibility of actually using our fireplace.Everything Christmas (my favorite!). Hope of snow.Twinkling lights. Family.Joy!

Whatever season you favor we can all agree on one thing:Seasons change.

 

Everyone is going through some season in their life right now. Seasons of pain and heartache.Anger and fear.Loss and loneliness.Growth and confusion.Joy and life change. Seasons of excitement and new discoveries. Yep, life is full of seasons. Full of change.

 

When I first got sick a little over 3 years ago I experienced a crazy potpourri of seasons...and not the good smelling kind.I experienced confusion,pain,fear,anxiety,depression, and anger (to name a few). 

It was like a roller coaster ride named "The Seasons Cyclone" that I couldn't remember waiting in line for.Not the fun kind either,No this was a 'full of unpleasant jerks-unnecessary turns-unexpected plunges- and make you want to hurl when your stomach decides to stay behind'  ride. 

 

As much as I didn't understand (or want) it then, I see now that it was a necessary season. A season that brought undeniable change. Needed change. I learned my faith had to be placed in something that never changes or it's not worth putting faith in.

 

"Don't ever let your happiness depend on something that can be taken away from you." -CS LEWIS

 

Nothing in this world is totally secure and unchangeable. Jobs change, health changes, wants change, needs change, children grow, people move away... 

Whether you like it or not... Change Is. Going. To. Happen. Sometimes subtle, sometimes radical but it's never going to stop and ask you if you're ready for it...It is, by all definitions, Inevitable. Funny how we're often shocked by it when God promised it'd come. (John 16:33) 

With seasons of life always changing doesn't anything stay permanent? YES!

IN CHRIST.

God doesn't change.When the winds blown, He stays grounded. When the leaves fall, He's unmoved."For I am the Lord, I change not" Malachi 3:6 

His character is constant. It won't change,it can't! He remains faithful.Immovable.Merciful.He will protect you.Sustain you.Deliver you.

I don't know what season of life you're going through right now but whether it's the highest joy or lowest despair you can have hope in the fact that God is there with you.He walks before you, beside you.He knows your heart.He understands your pain. You may not hear, see, or feel him at times...but the severity of your season didn't change God's ability to bring you through it. I learned that the hard way. So many times I felt like God was gone, like he didn't hear me...didn't care. But I see now he was always there.He heard. He always cares. 

God is working in this hard season of change in your life, just like He was in the good ones. If He's silent, it's for a reason. He's teaching you something. The teacher is always silent during the test right? Another word for change is refinement or advancement.God is doing something! Trust Him.

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

All seasons are temporary. Some longer than others but eventually they will change. I may still be in a season of physical pain and sickness but my outlook is different, the emotions have changed. The season of anger,depression, fear, and anxiety have been changed to joy, hope, stability, and confidence. Not confidence in myself but in who God is.Who He always will be.

You will get through your season. Trust me. I wanted that season of my life to end as soon as it started but if it did I never would have learned what I have.The things I've learned about myself, about God, about my faith, and who I am in Christ never would have happened if I hadn't experienced those seasons of hurt. It was vital to my character. Crucial to my heart.God saw the potential when all I saw was the pain. He did what I couldn't. It's completely changed my life for the better. I know it doesn't feel like it right now. But your season will change & it will be worth it. 

Take my advice and don't be so anxious to get pass this season of your life that you miss out on what God is trying to show you. See it as an opportunity to trust in Him, to grow in faith.

"For everything there is a season" Ecclesiastes 3:1

Take heart. Have Hope. One day you will see the reason for the season.

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8 

Just rest

Sometimes environmental factors cause my illness to take on a level that makes me feel even sicker than usual which causes flare ups and magnifies my every day symptoms.Unfortunately with the weather changes & allergies that has been the case the last few days forcing me to do one of the hardest things for me, Rest.

But rest can be good...when used wisely.The last few days I was forced to rest physically but that didn't mean I had an excuse to be lazy. Sometimes sickness forces us to rest our bodies but what about our minds? What if we stopped trying to be one step ahead, to 'keep up', to figure it all out, to have it all under control?

What if we learned to do two simple words?  Just rest.

~Rest in knowing that it's all going to work out for good.

~Rest in trusting there is a plan within the chaos, a purpose within the pain.

~Rest in believing that what doesn't kill you can make you stronger, 

            what doesn't break you can refine you.

~Rest in the faith that when God said He'd never leave you, He meant it.

~Rest in knowing God is able when we're unable.

~Rest in peace that the things you lack, God will provide.

~Rest in believing His faithfulness will be shown when we trust in Him.

~Rest in the truth that in the midst of the storm, He can bring calmness.

~Rest in knowing as a christian your worth has already been established, 

            your freedom paid for.

~Rest in believing we don't have to earn God's love, we already have it.

~Rest in knowing if you're seeking him, He is guiding your steps.

~Rest in believing there isn't a hurt He can't heal, a problem He can't solve.

~Rest in knowing when we are at our weakest, God is at His strongest.

~Rest in the truth that though the battle rages on, God's victory is certain 

            and so is yours.

~Rest in the verse that "all things are possible with God."

~Rest in knowing there isn't a single area of your life He doesn't care about.

~Rest in the fact we're not just doing nothing, but we are giving him control.

~Rest in believing we're doing our best and God will do the rest.

~Rest in the truth that God is stronger & BIGGER than anything you are facing.

~Rest in knowing if you make a mistake, He loves you the same.

~Rest in believing He hears your prayers & will answer them in the right time.

~Rest in knowing that the God who created you has a unique purpose for your 

            life that no one else can fulfill.

~Rest in the God who doesn't get tired, who won't give up even if we do,who 

            won't give you more than you can handle because He will always be with you.

Resting in God is not passivity, it's not an excuse to be lazy. It simply means you're saying "While it may not be easy, I trust you God...in everything, with everything and in that I'm choosing to just rest."

Beautiful Work in Progress

I like to create. Paint,draw...I love it! I enjoy taking a blank canvas, conjuring up a concept in my head, and making it come to life.There's something exciting about being the only one who knows what the final product will look like. Sure I can try and explain it to someone but they're not inside my mind (probably a good thing) so while they can imagine a basic idea they can't fully comprehend what the finished work is until they see it.

Onlookers can make guesses, critique what they may change, judge how I'm doing it, or become impatient but none of that will change what I want my masterpiece to look like.Only I know what it needs. In my mind even as a work in progress, it's beautiful. It may not be perfect but it's my creation.

 I believe God is the ultimate artist. There is so much beauty in this world He created-like sunsets! Many try to imitate by paintings or photographs but they can never reinvent the original. They're obvious beauty to the eye, masterpieces.

Not a lot of people will see us as masterpieces. They see the mistakes we've tried to erase but can't, the imperfections we've tried desperately to cover up. They just see a hopeless mess but God doesn't. Nosiree,Our artist doesn't see what's missing, He sees the beauty. He sees what will be there, the potential. What others may see as mistakes on our canvas he sees as unique characteristics,things that make us different than any other work of art.  

"For we are God's workmanship (work of art), created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

We are works in progress but God sees the finished masterpiece and to him it's Beautiful. When God made you, He really did break the mold! He took great care in making us who we were meant to be.He did not make us on a mass production line.  He had a purpose in mind for us even before we came into being! No one else in the entire world can fulfill the purpose God created you to have because there is no other person exactly like you. You are an original artwork.

"You are the one who put me together inside my mother’s body and I praise you because of the wonderful way you created me Everything you do is marvelous Of this I have no doubt. Nothing about me is hidden from you! I was secretly woven together deep in the earth below,but with your own eyes you saw my body being formed.Even before I was born,you had written in your book everything I would do."Psalm 139:13-16

Every artist has their critics, every art piece its haters.I realize not everyone will like what I create. That's okay. Tastes are different, opinions diverse. Only I will truly know why I painted what I did, how I did. God doesn't like people criticizing his art work. who would? But He's not worried about it.He knows they can't see what He can.  He already has the finished masterpiece in mind. You're beautiful to Him just as you are because he knows where He's taking you. 

You've heard the phrase "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." If the God of the universe, who created the sun, the moon,the stars,the sea, the land....the God who is perfect, who doesn't lie,doesn't make mistakes, and knows us better than anyone...better than we know ourselves....If HE says we're Beautiful maybe we should choose to believe Him.

You may not feel like a masterpiece.There have been times I've felt anything but! There may be things you wish were different,things you're trying to change, things others don't see as beautiful. That's ok, God's not finished with you yet! 

Right now, where ever you may be in your life, you are His Beautiful work in progress.

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."Philippians 1:6

There really ought to be a sign upon the heart, Don't judge her yet, there's an unfinished part.But I'll be perfect just according to His plan,Fashioned by the Master's loving hands.

Mirror Mirror

"We have NEVER seen our own face." Umm Say What? It's true. We have only seen a reflection of our face-in a mirror,photograph,etc. We've never actually looked on our own face with our natural eyes. 

If we spend too much time in front of the mirror focusing on our own reflection it can become distorted. We'll start to notice and dwell on any imperfections  we may have (especially if you have a vanity mirror: up close & pore counting personal!) and we'll begin to see everything in relation to ourselves. 
-The Negative will out weigh the positive
-the beauty will be clouded by what we would change
-we'll begin to compare ourselves to others who we'll feel like have 'better features'
-what we have will be overshadowed with what we feel like is missing

And then we lose sight of God completely.It's not about Him. It's about us, our insecurities...our reflection and then as Pastor Zak would say "we're in need of some serious unjackification in our lives" 

When we're not looking at God, He's still there, we're just not seeing Him.

Let's admit something together can we?...we all have something about our looks that we've wanted to change so we'd feel 'good enough' right? There's nothing wrong with wanting to do things to feel/look healthy. God gave us our body,we should respect it.It's important to take care of yourself, make ourselves presentable.We all want to feel "Beautiful." But to whose standards? By whose definition?

The truth is simple....to the world, we'll never be 'good enough.' They will always focus on, point out, our imperfections because they're measuring by standards no one can live up to...the world's. NO ONE IS PERFECT but Jesus and NO ONE EVER WILL BE until we get to Heaven. We were NOT created in the image of the world's standards (thank God); we were created in the image of GOD. To Him, we are beautiful. 

 “You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way.” Song of Solomon

People will always see my physical flaws, my imperfections, because that's what's visible to them and sadly that's a focus in society. That's okay, I can't control that. Physical attributes will always change. I've learned to embrace my big ears, because that's what He gave me so I just learned to wiggle them.:) 

God cares more about our character. That's the only part of you that will last."Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." 2 Corinthians 4:16

I can't control my changing appearance the world sees but I can control the reflection they see from the inside out. Will it be my own, or will it be God's? 

Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.1 Peter 3:4

When the Israelite army faced the giant, Goliath, they immediately saw him in relation to themselves and were discouraged.They trembled because they could never measure up to what was in front of them so they didn't even want to try. And then David came along...young-puny-sheep herding-no army experience-David. But instead of focusing on his own imperfections (what he was lacking) instead of seeing this giant in relation to himself, he saw Him in relation to God. 

The reflection of God was so much Bigger, Brighter, Capable, and Perfect than his own reflection. David didn't dwell on his imperfections, he didn't complain for God to change him physically. God if you could just make me a tad taller, give me big hulk muscles or strong ninja skills, then...then i could be good enough to defeat what's before me. NOPE. He just had faith in who He knew God was. All he could see were a few stones, his sling shot, and the colossal of a jolly green giant man in front of him. He couldn't see God but He trusted him.

I can't see my face, not with just my natural eyes anyway but I still trust it's there. Your reflection of yourself and the reflection the world sees of you will always be flawed. As humans, our mirrors are distorted. It will always show you there's too many things that need to be changed before you can be acceptable, before you can face your giant victoriously. A distorted mirror will always give a distorted reflection. God doesn't see us the way we do, the way others often do.(can we take a moment for a HALLELUYER?!) God has a mirror that gives undistorted reflections,TRUE reflections. He created us in His image because he wants us to be a reflection of Him, not of the world.

"God created man in His own image....  God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good." Gen 1:27, 31 

The world is flawed, lacking, and imperfect in so many ways (especially these days) They need to see there is hope, there is life, beauty, acceptance, and  there is perfection...perfection in Christ and Christ alone. That's how God see us! He sees the potential not the imperfections. WOW.

It is our job as Christians to reflect that to the world. It's not always easy but through the Bible we can see what God's reflection should look like. Look in the mirror, just humor me. What do you see? The world's distorted reflection  of yourself or God's perfect one? Do you see yourself as 'not good enough' or as God's uniquely, wonderfully made child? You don't need to ask God the question....In his eyes the answer will always be YES, you are the fairest of them all.

“See yourself through the Truth of God’s Word, rather than the opinions of the world”

Dream as Big as God

What happened to the BIG dreams we had as kids?-whether it be becoming a professional athlete (mine), an astronaut (Never mine) or president of the United States (definitely not mine!). But as we grow up life chips away at our dreams until they're trimmed down to a "reasonable" size.Why do we let other people or circumstances define OUR dreams?

I realize we are more realistic as adults (well some of us) but does that mean our faith should be smaller? Just because things have changed since we were young doesn't mean God has. God is the author of BIGNESS, not smallness. That will never change. God is still putting dreams in our hearts,even if they're different ones from when we were a child. 

Do you have a dream God has put on your heart?

You'll know if:

1. It is bigger than you.

2. You can't let it go.

3. You would be willing to sacrifice for it and do whatever it takes.

4. It requires faith.

5. It will make an impact.

6. It brings glory to God.

I've always loved writing. I like to do a lot of different things (especially creative stuff!) but my dream always comes back to writing.

So here's my Big dream. ready?- I want to be a best selling author! Yup. I want to write a Christian fiction book that will turn into a series, and then write a motivational book about my struggles with my health and how God's changed my life through it. It's something God's put on my heart for awhile now. 

I know it's going to take a lot of time, work, prayer,& instances where I'm out of my comfort zone...but I know the biggest thing it's going to take is Faith & that's how I know it's from God. 

At times (or to others) it may appear impossible but I know with God all things are possible. If it is His will for it to happen, nothing will stand in the way! 

So what's your dream? Does it go beyond you enough to require God's help? Is your dream impossible enough for you? If so, that's just right for God and too big is the perfect size for Him. 

God gave us different talents for a reason and we can find fulfillment if we use them for Him.  "We have different gifts, according to the grace given us." Romans 12:6.

So what can you do today to take the 1st step towards your dream? Yes, I said TODAY. Do it! Don't wait! Don't even give it a second to let the excuses hold you back. If you look at your current circumstances, you’ll never start anything.  

There will always be a million reasons NOT to do something, but with God all you need is one reason to do it.   “God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or dream, according to His power that works in us.” Ephesians 3:20.

You don't have to have it all figured out right now, just take the first step of faith. I did it, and it feels AMAZING! I believe there's so much more God wants to show us in our lives if we would just choose to trust Him & Dream big!

Dream a dream so big only God can fulfill it.

 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”Matthew 19:26