The Christmas Proposal.

If you know me at all you know this truth about me: I LOVE CHRISTMAS!

I love everything about it and I have since I was a little kid. I think part of it is because all the traditions I remember from growing up. My parents always made the season of Christmas so fun and special. Not because of the presents they bought us but because of the memories we made.That's what I remember and cherish most. Making a mess decorating Christmas cookies, watching "All I want for Christmas", staying up late Christmas Eve, waking up crazy early to the smell of bacon, and one of my most favorite traditions of all...going to the Christmas tree farm to chop down our Christmas tree. I LOVE it. As crazy as it sounds, the Christmas tree farm has always been one of my favorite places on earth. My happy place. It became even more so 6 years ago when it became the setting of a life changing event.

6 years ago today Jeremy proposed to me at the Christmas tree farm and made me that happiest woman on earth but lets go back to the beginning...

I remember it was 2005, I was living on ramon noodles and mac and cheese (which are typical staple foods for a college student) and with the holidays approaching my roommate/friend at the time and I were desperately in need of a new job. We knew places would be hiring for holiday help. So living in San Marcos we knew the best place to find a job fast was the outlet mall. Now I have to make a confession that may surprise some of you: I am not a shopper, therefore I do not enjoy the mall. I had never worked in retail nor did I have any desire to. Let's just say sales is not my forte. I was okay with that, I had accepted that. But sometimes God has other plans doesn't he? He's funny that way.

I needed a job. We applied at several places we thought it'd be "fun" to work at....or more so nice to get a discount at. The last place we decided to apply was simply because it was on our way out and we thought "why not?"  Nautica. Some of you may have heard of it, most of you probably not. I had no desire to work there but went through the motions of filling out the application. I turned it in with no expectation of getting a call....and I was okay with that.

Out of all the places we applied Nautica called me in for an interview. Me but not my roommate. Weird. To be honest I wasn't overjoyed at the time, I almost didn't go for the interview but like I said I  needed a job and would take what I would get. So I thought I'd give it a shot.

I went in one evening and it was a group interview since they were in need of a lot of help for the holidays. I met Jeremy that evening. He was one of the managers. I remember his smile first and then his big blue eyes. I thought he was cute but I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, I was looking for a job. I had just come out of an almost 4 year relationship with my high school boyfriend that ended pretty crappy, with a lot of hurt. I really had no interest in starting another one.

But Jeremy definitely stood out to me for sure. I remember him making everyone laugh, the way he made all of us feel at ease. It was weird because he knew exactly what to say to make me laugh and calm my nerves...not many people could do that. Little did I know he'd be doing that the rest of my life.

I left that night uncertain if I would get the job and then they called me a couple days later. "You're hired." I had no idea how those two little words, words I had mixed feelings about hearing, would open the door to change my life forever.

Jeremy and I became friends right away. I was always happy when he and I worked the same shift because he always made it fun...bearable. He could always make me laugh and to this day it's one of the things I love most about him.

We started hanging out and it didn't take long for us to become the best of friends. I remember the first time he asked me to be his girlfriend I said "No." (He still gives me a hard time about that)

I was scared. Scared of getting hurt. I had been on a few dates here and there recently but nothing too serious. I never wanted to be a big dater. I had one serious boyfriend in my life, all through high school and at the beginning of college. I was in love. Or at least I thought I was. Funny how we think we know how something feels until the real thing comes along and we realize we had no clue.

I had this idea of what I wanted in a guy. "The Perfect Man."  And the next relationship was going to be the one that lasted. I wasn't looking for it at the time. And I definitely didn't expect it to come in a guy eight years older than me who was a manager at the place I worked. Jeremy never gave up though.

He wore me down.;)

Our first date I was crazy sick. Snotty nosed, puffy eyed MESS...not the most attractive to say the least. I was more than okay with rescheduling the date. Well, he showed up at my apartment with medicine and juice and my favorite show. We just sat there on the couch watching TV as I continually blew my nose and tried to hold onto some shred of dignity. He took care of me. Didn't complain. Somehow made me feel comfortable and beautiful. Which is hard to do when you feel like you look like an inflated version of Rudolph the red nose reindeer. It was then I knew he was different.

He met my family. Got along great with my sister. Ate my mom's tomatoes at dinner even though he hates tomatoes (and most other vegetables) and hit it off with my dad. I knew. I knew he was the one and that scared the crud out of me!

Jeremy Roth, with his sweet demeanor and goofy personality. I quickly learned he would give me a run for my money. More stubborn than me, if you can imagine. We butted heads a lot. I had never met someone that wanted to get to know me...the REAL me. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, so I tried to push him away. Any way I could. But once again Jeremy didn't give up...stubborn Turd.

 I had never been good with talking about my feelings. Still struggle with it at times. And no one really cared enough to get them out of me. I can't blame them though I become a pro wall builder. Nobody was getting in there...until Jeremy Roth. He pushed, he challenged, he was not okay with just the surface Amber. He was always telling me he knew there was more to me and he wanted to see it. He used to frustrate the heck out of me... still does at times;)

 I had become content with keeping my emotions bottled up. But he wasn't okay with that. He wanted me to talk about them. Really? Ummm I was not okay with that. Yeah, I'm pretty much the guy in the relationship when it comes to dealing with feelings. Jeremy always cared enough to want me to be me. All of me. I never knew how much I needed that. I tell him all the time that He is everything I never knew I needed. Sounds cheesy but it's true. God knew what he was doing for sure. No one has ever loved me like Jeremy.

December 11, 2007. We went to the Christmas Tree Farm to help my parents pick out their tree. We drove separate from my family. When we got their, they weren't there...or so I thought. Jeremy said we should walk down a little ways to look at some of the trees. I thought it was kind of strange we weren't waiting for my family but didn't think too much of it. Walking hand in hand all of a sudden He said, "What about this one?" I turned and saw on one of the trees pictures of he and I hanging all over it. In front of the tree was a sheet with rose peddles scattered all over it. I remember saying something along the lines of "What the heck?" Typical Amber. Lost in the moment, I turned and saw Jeremy getting down on one knee. It was such a surreal moment I swear I still didn't know what was happening. He pulled out the beautiful ring and took my hand. I honestly don't remember all the words he said, but I remember the look on his face while he looked at me. LOVE. Real Love. The only way I know how to describe it. In that moment by the tears in his eyes (not common for him) I knew he loved me with a love that would last forever.

Needless to say I said "YES." I remember hugging him tighter than I ever had and crying...yes crying....you see if you know me really well you know deep down I'm a hopeless romantic. My family came out from behind another tree where my sis had been taking pictures. "Couldn't have done it without them" Jeremy said.

We took home that tree our pictures were on and to this day have a piece of the trunk. My favorite Christmas tradition had become my favorite life changing memory. And now every year we go back to that same tree farm and chop down our Christmas tree. I got the best gift that Christmas. I got the husband God had chosen specifically for me. The man who had and continues to change my life every single day. I don't remember much of what he said that evening but I remember him promising to love me and he has with an unconditionally love through my struggles with my health, through my flaws, through my good days and bad. He has been there. He shows me how to be strong. How to face things head on. He is always Encouraging me, making me smile when I don't want to, and helping me to see and believe in the real me.

December 11, 2007 It was the perfect evening, at the perfect place, with the perfect man God had for me. The beginning of the rest of my life, with the love of my life.